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Ok, I thought someone was just pulling my leg with that last message to helpdesk, but there's now a follow-up from the same person, and it's clear that they genuinely need medical attention -- the kind I'm most certainly not qualified to offer. :(
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@brauner oh, I posted a screenshot of what I thought was someone having a good joke asking the helpdesk how to "remove an illegal brain implant used to control their thoughts."

However, the follow-up email from the same person was... macabre, and illustrated that they are probably legitimately mentally unwell. :(
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