@drewdevault The fault does not lie entirely with the addressed person; One must understand that such a reprimand taps deeply into the psychology of humans in general, and can produce quite intense feelings.

It feels humiliating to be called out, and the administrator who reaches out must take the utmost care to not fall prey to reveling in the power that they have over the offender in this moment.

@lritter @drewdevault It kinda depends on the setting.

But ultimately sometimes community members raise concerns about individuals and that needs to be addressed/discussed one way or the other.

Especially if those individuals are from a minority which felt unsafe in the community of the offender.

@drewdevault

Please remember, people who react like this to the Code of Conduct conversations, do it out of fear of you.

Some of that fear may be based on the fact that they know they did something wrong.

But most of the time, it is based on the previous experience of dealing with authorities, which act without any considerations of the people involved.

This is not making it easier for you, but deescalating is an art we often have to learn on the job.

@drewdevault are you unhappy that I am not reacting the way you primed us to react?

@drewdevault How could I minimize anything? You said it yourself, I have no context, because you gave me none. Yet you expect me to side with you in a conflict that I do not understand. So what did I do? I try to establish the baseline of a sensible approach to gain more context. My expectation was that you would have responded with something to the effect of "here is what I did...", and then I would likely be satisfied.

@drewdevault I have recently been reprimanded myself, so I do understand the other side a little better now. In my case we had a rather productive chat afterwards where the moderator explained the limits of the reprimand to me. That was the first time I realized how important it is to ensure the offender understands how inconsequential his mistake was, provided his aim is to work together with the community in the future.

@drewdevault I have previously witnessed people in power strongarming others over rule violations in a way that escalated the situation and made the offender's response seem crazy and overblown, so that has made me cautious.

@drewdevault @lritter Bro did we even read the same email thread? It was unequivocally a threat.

@drewdevault @bensonk so the "official warning" was not handed to the person in private?

@drewdevault so this is about vaxry right?

I think his conduct was poor, but I do agree with many of his points and empathise with his feeling threatened weather or not it was justified. I do feel that, regardless of his conduct off platform, he is still deserving of being included in on topic technical discussions on freedesktop.

@drewdevault If this refers to the recent hyprland drama, there are so many things wrong with the situation that nobody came out clean.

1. I wish people would stop using company emails for personal business. I consider responding to a large company to be a completely different situation and it is best to avoid confusion.

2. From what I've seen, none of the mentioned issues are less than 1.5yrs old and have already been already addressed publically

@drewdevault ① should be done and is the best scenario, at least I'd say it should be seen as learning the limits and politely acknowledging them, ② is off limits.
By the way I can easily see a scenario ③ where the person disagrees about it, even with being a bit rude, but doesn't creates much drama, like heat of the moment kind of thing, this is why ② to me is off limits.
(Plus a scenario ④ where the person says okay or even apologises but continues exactly as before)

@drewdevault 3. From what I understand, the communication was over a public(I think?) mailing list. I believe that initial communication should be done in private if possible.

4. Vaxry should not have responded in such a harsh manner. If he didn't escalate, this likely wouldn't have become such a problem

5. I'm still a little confused why the free desktop is trying to moderate his server. He is just an occasional contributor to some projects to them

@drewdevault (3) I get embarrassed, delete all questionable comments and never reply 👉🏻👈🏻

@drewdevault About 1.2? Is it a good code of conduct?

@drewdevault @bensonk @lritter Do you believe "conduct enforcement team" should call anyone by the names you used, recently, in the public?

@pavel @drewdevault @bensonk unsubscribe me plz