One of the more accursed things about ADHD is rejection sensitivity.

Being rejected in one way or another hurts in a way that is like being physically hit, and it keeps hurting for a long time.

Inevitably it often causes an over the top reaction quite often.

But it (generally I find) doesn't mean you're wrong, just either overreacting or going on _far too long_ about it.

But that, and the occasions where, inevitably, you are in fact just wrong, lead people to no longer believe you and dismiss everything you say that sounds like a whine like that.

And so you end up both rejected and disbelieved, and thus an outsider, in every god damn community you are ever in.

Or you are seen as a punchline to jokes, and it generally seriously hurts your career.

And to think people pretend this condition isn't real or people 'boast' about it.

I'd give anything to not have that side of it, it's so alienating.

Having a severe form of it makes daily life very hard for me.

naturally of course it's a vicious cycle.

Rejected for talking about being rejected. Mocked or called weak...

Yeah that's my life right there to be honest.

Long series of that. No wonder people with this condition often experience terrible, crippling shame that follows them around everywhere.

@ljs I hope it wasn't me! If it was me, I'm sorry -- it was intended as a friendly arsing around sort of thing.

@monsieuricon not you!

I like friendly arsing around :>) this isn't a subtoot so much as a general reflection on this stuff...

@ljs Do you also have the Cassandra complex? Probably more of an AuDHD/autism thing. Probably hurts me in my career more than RSD. Especially when it triggers for dumb shit like the introduction of Teams.

Although, it's arguable if it actually hurt me in this last instance. I am _very_ happy to not have that job any more. And I'm almost back to being my original self, enjoying being silly, avoiding people pleasing, and just doing whatever the fuck I want at any moment.

But I can totally relate to this feeling as an outsider in every community. I've been trying to redefine the definition though — trying to see the few people who're happy to have me there, rather than those turning their backs (literally).

@liskin yeah I have the Cassandra thing ENDLESSLY.

And you know obviously sometimes I'm wrong too. I try, though, unlike most people I've encountered in life, try to actually admit when I'm wrong and really own it.

It's painful and humiliating but better than just being wrong.

It's not unreasonable that people get sick of hearing the latest drama etc.

So I don't actually blame people for eventually putting me in a 'full of shit' box.

Which only makes the whole thing so much goddamned worse...

Anyway a reflection on that at a time when every single aspect of my life is on fire :)

@ljs